Category Archives: Deputy Editor, Community Manager

“Can’t stop calling them, running up huge debts”

Loneliness is one frequently mentioned cause of phone sex addiction. After ending the call, they regret their mistake when it becomes too late to do so. Being compulsive to call these phone sex lines they gradually get addicted to these lines. A guy, addicted to these phone sex lines says,

“Being male sucks, I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on strip clubs before, and have done the phone sex thing before too, but recently, I just can’t get away from that stuff, and it’s pricy too man, and money is tight on my end, but dang it, this sexual stuff is like a drug, and these women know it too, and they cash in on it literally”

Experts of Sex Addiction Rehab say, if left untreated sex addiction can lead to broken relationships, financial ruin, substance abuse, depression and even suicide in some cases. Sexual response is one of the most powerful triggers of feel-good chemicals known as endorphin in the brain system; this is the primary cause of sexual addiction.

Relationships are also broken because of this addiction. Most of the phone sex operators who were interviewed also said, “Phone sex is an emotional drain”. In mumsnet, Joanne, a mother of two children tells how her husband is addicted to these phone sex lines, which had let her down and made her suffer in life.

“Not sure what to do, my husband says he is addicted to sex lines and can’t stop calling them, running up huge debts”

“I am so hurt by him, and don’t even think we have a relationship anymore. I am so scared of becoming a single parent as don’t think I could cope. This is not the life I wanted for me and my children, but I don’t want them to have a broken family either”

But there are ways, if not to completely stop it at once, but to gradually reduce it. The main phone sex addiction treatment as suggested by the experts of sex addiction rehab is to remove access to phone sex services.  There are also some support groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous in UK (SAA), which offers an accepting, non-threatening environment to share and help others to recover from sex addiction. There a group of women and men sharing their experiences on sex addiction.

A real time phone sex operator with experience for about 10 years, says,

“Sometimes men need an outlet that is more than what they feel comfortable with telling someone they love”

“On the flip side, I do not condone abuse nor do I support it whether it is mental, physical or emotional. I am not saying accept his behavior as ultimately you have to do what is right for you”

Cameryn* another phone sex operator says,

“I don’t think that sex of any sort can be an addiction. Someone can be neurotic or insecure or needing approval, but those are the underlying psychological problems, not the sex itself”.

“If someone is using phone sex a lot, and they were worried about the amount, then hopefully they would go to a psychologist who understands that distinction”.

There are many students who get easy access to these phone sex lines, and in a while without their knowledge, get addicted to these in a few days. Another good way to stop this addiction as suggested by experts is to switch off the phone, and to divert the mind.

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“It’s not about sexuality; it’s about them using stupid practices”: Advertising phone sex lines

As Shyla*, a phone sex operator shares in a forum,

“I am a phone sex operator who is just getting started and not having much luck. I am very good at what I do but I cannot seem to get the callers”

 The reason she claims for decline in the business is due to the lack of advertisements for the business. Advertising and establishing themselves is a great task to deal with in working as a phone sex operator. The charge for advertising phone sex services in online media varies according to the trafficking opted by the client. It is usually a lot higher than what is being paid for normal advertisements. Because of these higher rates some phone sex operators prefer to work on a well built platform like Niteflirt, Myphonesite or Talksugar. But, there also problem exists. There are low call rates in this, as said in an interview with us by a phone sex operator, who has been working in the field for about 6 years,

 “Some companies will take advantage of a phone sex operator by offering less than beneficial compensation to someone who doesn’t know any better”

Phone sex, as advertised by various media:

Most of the national newspapers have banned advertisements for services of sexual nature. Before this ban phone sex commercials have been present in some newspapers. Newspapers like The Sun have carried advertisements of phone sex companies. These advertisements were banned as they portrayed women’s body as a sexual object. Countries like Mexico, Spain have also banned advertising sexual content in newspapers. There are magazines who still advertise phone sex.

Phone sex commercials widely known as the late night commercials, have been there for a while in television industries. In a related forum, Laht* says

“All you have to do to stop this phone sex thing is run an advertisement on television that shows what the real sex-talkers look like”

Unlike these usual advertising, phone sex companies had also started ‘phreaking which literally means hacking of phone lines. Many calls by customers have been redirected to hot chat lines. One affected person says,

It’s not about sexuality; it’s about them using stupid practices like this to try to entice the general public to use their business. If I wanted to use a phone sex line it would take me 30 seconds on Google to find the number of one. They don’t need to have a million phone numbers all forwarding to their sex line. They’re just hoarding numbers and it’s illegal”

Websites and online Webpages are a go-to spot for majority of these phone sex companies to advertise themselves. The selection here takes place based on the number of hits and trafficking posed by the site.

A phone sex operator says,

“Marketing for phone lines isn’t difficult, per say but there are a LOT of people doing it so getting noticed is where most people run into problems”

There is a great deal of effort put in advertising these phone sex sites. Financially, this requires a lot of stability to establish themselves in this field.

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“Phone sex is enjoyable work for many, but it is mentally and physically taxing”

One of the phone sex operators, a graduate, who has been working for 5 years in the same field, on a interview to Frisky says,

 “Phone sex is a game of constant calculation, analysis, decision-making, creativity, and it requires tremendous amounts of empathy toward people contacting you in a state of intense sexual need. It’s enjoyable work for many, but it is mentally and physically taxing”

Now, there are about thousands of phone sex websites. Students can access these sites with ease. As seen in blogs of phone sex operators, students prefer to work as a phone sex operator, as they can work at their own comfort and can work anonymously.

With the rise in number of student phone sex workers, we can consider, an initiative taken by BBC, over an year ago, to bring to light the significant rise in the number of students turning to sex industries to pay their debts. English Collective of Prostitutes (ECP) spokeswomen, as reported to The Huffington Post said,

“Students are not only turning to prostitution. They are also engaging in phone sex and lap dancing because they are in such dire financial situation”

When we talked to the English Collective of Prostitutes they say,

“Ever since grants were done away with and loans introduced, we have been contacted by increasing numbers of students considering or involved in sex work. Considering that it is common for a student to be saddled with a debt of £30,000 + at the end of their course this is no surprise. Jobs in shops and pubs that students usually take up to cover living costs are increasingly scarce and low paid”. 

“The abolition of Education Maintenance Allowance is having a particular impact on young people. Opportunities for young people to study and go to college are being drastically cut as a result. How is EMA to be replaced? Sex work will certainly be one way.”

They also mentioned how the research done by them proved students to be suffering because of debts to pay.

“A recent study of over 200 lap-dancers carried out by Leeds University found that one in three of those surveyed were working to fund education. The majority of these were younger women, with 14% working to fund undergraduate study; 6% were on postgraduate courses and 4% in further education. At a time when fees are about to increase, there is widespread expectation that more women will turn to this industry to fund their studies.” 

 

 

A study by Doctor Ron Roberts of Kingston University on students’ relationship with the sex industry also found 11% would consider escort work. He said high tuition fees had driven students to work as lap dancers and for chat lines and internet pornography.”

 

 

She has also said to BBC, the number of calls they received from students had “atleast doubled” over the years.

There are a number of phone sex websites which have a separate section for college teen’s numbers for phone sex, this signifies the gradual increase in student phone sex operators through the years. On a contrary note our survey results say that, More than 80% of students have told that they don’t know anyone who has previously or currently working as a phone sex operator.

Even though there are about 25% of students have agreed that they would consider taking it up as their job.

There are many discussion threads on student sites, asking for help in figuring out reputable phone sex websites. There are a number of students out there willing to work as a phone sex operator, some for extra cash, some to pay their debts, and some even to have an adventurous leap into it.

In accordance with this, Weconsent.org and SWAAY are two of the organizations, which provide assistance and support people involved as sex workers. SWAAY, abbreviated as sex work activities, allies, and you. The site contains  real-life stories of those working in sex industries and they even conducts campaigns to support phone sex workers. They are linked to worldwide groups, to promote their cause.

Even though there seems to be a decline in this field due to advancements in the recent use of technologies like sex-cams, there a good number of students turning as phone sex workers.

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“I felt like a loser, I am having serious second thoughts in it” says student male phone sex operator

The websites of some phone sex companies like Niteflirt, has a seperate platform for male phone sex operators, often named as gay phone sex operators. On this blog confessions of a male phone sex operator, Sam* who started to work as a male phone sex operator, says

“I found the listings online. I have always joked that I could get a job like that. The money was a real incentive, the thing that brought me on board. I applied, and was hired right away”.

“I am a twenty something college student. I go to parties, listen to the newest music, go shopping, go to the movies every now and then, club hop of course”  but to do my job, “I prepared a character named ‘Levi’, 22 years old, short brown spiky hair, 5’11” 150 lbs, lean and toned swimmers build with piercing bright blue eyes. On my first day, I was startled when the phone rang. The first caller hung up after 4 or so minutes. I felt like a loser. Now I am having serious second thoughts in it”.

Gemma* a female phone sex operator says “There are male operators but, it’s been my experience that they aren’t as financially successful as female operators” , it may be because,

There seems to be a definite line that men are leery of crossing insofar as talking ‘about’ bisexual fantasies and talking to a man about their bisexual fantasies. Most men are more comfortable with talking to a woman about it. And most of the time, women don’t really call phone sex”.

 “There are quite a few on one of the platforms I work with. I’ve had calls with male operators in the past, as dual entertainer calls that customers have asked for and most of the time, it’s not really long term relationship types of calls. For example, I have a client that I’ve been talking to for several years and we usually talk a couple times a month. Our calls are generally an hour or so long. Working as a male phone sex operator and managing the type of financial accomplishments that a female phone sex operator can garner is a distant fetch”.

In yahoo answers, Mao* asks,

“Why are there no male phone sex operators with female customers calling them?”

Replies are,

 “There is no market for male phone sex lines”.

 “It’s only the developed mindset in men with social influences that dictate their behaviors. I have never done it or needed too”.

If you would like to participate in this discussion, tweet us @studentphonesex or add us in Facebook.

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“I earn an average of £2,600 – £4,000 a month” says long-time phone sex operator

Reaghan* who has been working as a phone sex operator for about 6 years now, tells us about the challenges she faced, the training process she underwent, and her views about phone sex industry as  an insider.She started,

 “I became ill and had to resign my position in customer service. I looked for something I could do that would allow me to work from home and someone suggested “You have a great voice and you are the dirtiest person I know. Why not try phone sex?”, and so that was the first time I ever thought about it”.

About the interview process,

Well! I was invited to apply at a well known company and provided a lengthy communication regarding my knowledge of fetish and experience. I spoke on the phone with 3 different officers of the company I was seeking to work with before being brought on as a customer of their platform. I was asked if I would use my own pictures or provide a content model and to provide a biography for customers to review”.

“All in all, from the day I was invited to apply to the day I took my first call, was 30 days. I was not asked to undergo any training process, as I had extensive knowledge of the fetish world. But to any beginner, I would suggest, if you are going to specialize in fetish or domination types of calls, taking classes to get familiar with the general principles can only benefit your overall business.

  “I earn an average of £2,600 – £4,000/month and I work for about 12 – 14 hours per day, 7 days per week, but it takes a LONG time to establish you to be able to support yourself with it. My first year, I made less than £650/month”.

“The good thing here is most of my friends are supportive but feel they could never make that leap into their own employ. Even though there is no problem with this for my friends, working as a phone sex operator may be a problem with relationships. It opens up your experiences and can be very emotionally draining. At the end of some shifts, I find myself sometimes feeling more than a little overwhelmed by the emotional connections made with clients, especially as they become more of a long-term relationship”.

According to the online survey we conducted, more than 85% of students believe that, that more students are entering phone sex industries due to the increase in the tuition fees.  She says,

There are more people coming to the industry to try and offset their financial obligations but I’m also finding more and more are not able to keep up with it because it does require such a massive investment of time and effort in order to make it a viable career”.

When I think about phone sex as an industry, “Like most industries, there are some aspects which are very empowering and positive for helping people to explore desires and have companionship they are unable to get in other aspects of their lives but there are also some shady, less positive aspects”.

“Some companies will take advantage of a PSO by offering less than beneficial compensation to someone who doesn’t know any better”.

“It seems like an easy way to make quick money but most of the younger girls are burning out faster than advertised because they are finding it harder to maintain the hours and their studies at the same time”.

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Online survey

To support us with our investigation process on students and phone sex, we opted to online survey as this is fast paced and could also reach desired sectors. The survey is primarily focused on student communities. The results of this survey would be helpful to find out which age group of students normally intends to turn towards phone sex industries and what is the cause. We have specifically posed a question that stands alone to find out the relation behind the rise in tuition fees and the increase in number of student Phone sex workers.

Till now, this survey has proved to be much effective as we have received responses from about 60% of students within the age bracket of 20-24. There have also been responses to our survey from about 30% of students belonging to age group of 18-20.  One of the interesting dimension that this survey has taken us through is that about

 “85% of the students agree to the fact that they believe the rise in tuition fee may have contributed to the volume of students turning to phone sex for extra cash”.

If you would like to voice your views and opinions about students and phone sex please click on this link to take part in our online survey. The updates of the survey would be posted here on our site.If you would like to enter a discussion about students and phone sex with us you may tweet to us @studentphonesex or send us a message in facebook.

Link to survey

“I had a lot of friends and a lot of girlfriends have that job” : Views from forums

Phone sex, after being broadcasted in a real-time show on Channel 4 called “My Phone Sex Secrets”  has become one of the avenues for students to earn and lead a luxurious living in a short time bracket.The forums are filled with discussions, the media definitely has given a mainstream vibe to the phone sex industry. Students are registered with phone sex companies which serves as network operators by linking these Phone Sex lines. In ‘The Student Room’ we posted a discussion thread and received some interesting replies.

“Phone sex has been shown in light by various media and is this really happening one, a reality? Is this sex centered career a good idea to pay your bills? Do any of your friends do it? And if yes how you generally feel about it? What is your opinion about students getting involved in this?”

 emobambam* says

“I had a lot of friends and a lot of girlfriends have that job. The longer they have that job the more it changes them. I think it’s a great part time job if you need quick money. You can work at home at your own pace. It’s easy cash. I wouldn’t recommend it as a full time job regular job”

fifitrixiebell* says,

“The only thing that springs to mind from your thread is that of Ann Hathaway’s character in the movie Valentines Day where she earns extra money by working as a phone sex girl as a part time job! I really don’t know what I personally feel about this, whether I would participate in it or not. I probably would I suppose, as a last resort, as you’re not exploiting your body (such as through part time nude modelling, something in the press that a few uni students did a few years back to pay for their textbooks!) and it’s anonymous to a degree”.

xXHolly_90Xx* says,

“Honestly, I don’t think that I could cope with a boyfriend in that kind of business!”

The views that are pouring in from other forums on this discussion,

Heather * says,

“I was with a company you sign up with and they direct the calls to your home phone when you log on. You get paid per minute you’re on the call. I done it last year when OH was out of work and we had a big holiday paid for but no spends.On average though it does work out about £5 an hour”

Most of them who posted replies in this thread had a general quote, that working as a phone sex operator is a easy way to earn some quick cash and they would give it a try to hit some extra cash.

In connection to this, There are also some universities which had taken initiative to take action, the survey on “The Student Sex Work project” conducted by Swansea University which is a three year project funded by ‘Big lottery’ with the overall purpose to promote learning and understanding about student sex worker needs and associated issues is a point to ponder as there Is an increasing number of students turning as sex workers.

xXHolly_90Xx* says,

“Honestly, I don’t think that I could cope with a boyfriend in that kind of business!”

Another dimension of this discussion is that if they are in a relationship they expect their partner to be trustworthy and not to be engaged in these sex lines. This is another dimension to discuss upon.

If you would like to participate in this discussion,Link to the thread. Tweet us @studentphonesex or send us a message in Facebook.